Rest in Peace, Dimples

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On Friday morning, at approximately ten in the morning, I will have to do one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life. I will be putting my best friend to sleep. I remember begging my parents for a kitten starting at the age of three and it wasn’t until I was nine that I finally got one.

Dimples was found under a barn as a four week old stray. The man who found her brought her to his wife and coldly told her to find her a home or he would snap her neck. Frantic, she began asking around for anyone to claim her. No one did.

My grandfather got in contact with my parents and they decided to allow me to take her in. Eleven years later, she was a rambunctious cat, still getting into anything she could get her paws on. Until last week when my mother awoke to the sound of her agonizing cries. Fearing she may have dislocated her hind leg, my mother contacted the vet and set an appointment. There, a large blood clot was found along with an enlarged heart.

Dimples was kept overnight for observation before being sent home with instructions for a Heparin injection to break up the clot and baby aspirin for any pain she may be feeling. Unfortunately, though, she hasn’t regained the use of her leg and she likely won’t. The vet contacted my mother this morning and recommended putting her to sleep so she doesn’t suffer.

When I moved out, I left Dimples in the care of my parents because my landlord doesn’t allow pets. Even so, I was left with the final decision on what to do and, as much as it kills me, I decided it was best to go ahead and put her down.

I’m full of mixed emotions now. Part of me wants to keep her alive as long as possible, but the other part of me doesn’t want her to suffer. The possibility of her getting better are slim, due to the fact that she has heart disease which makes her not a candidate for surgery. Despite the small chance of her getting better, a part of me wants to hold on to her.

Regardless, Friday morning I will leave at the end of my shift, make the dreaded hour long drive to my parents house and hold her as she’s put to sleep in the vets office. I just hope I can have the strength to keep myself calm so she doesn’t panic.

I’ll miss you, baby girl. ❤

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